The Ohlinger Family Love Story

In 2010, I graduated nursing school, and traveled with my dad on another mission trip, this time to Uganda, Africa. We would be spending half of our time working with our local church there and some time working in a local public hospital in Kampala. It was there that again God broke my heart for orphans and for children who can’t access proper medical care and clean water. On that trip, my heart was humbled watching the children there filled with such joy and my heart was broken watching a little boy pass away from malaria. Flying home from that trip, I told my dad that I would be going back to Uganda and that I just didn’t feel like I was ‘done’ yet, though I had no clue what that even meant.

Soon after returning home from Uganda, I met Jim.

Jim: Emily and I met through a mutual friend while playing volleyball at a park. We started dating later that year, and were married Oct. 15, 2011.

When I traveled to Uganda for the first time in the year following our wedding, I got my first glimpse of what being an orphan looked like in much of the world. The small spaces, the food, the attentive but overworked and underpaid caretakers, and the sickness. All of these things were hard to see. However, the single most impactful moment that forever changed how I felt about adoption happened during the first night at the Babies Home where we volunteered. I was handed a baby by a “mother” to go put to bed. Probably about a year old, I knew nothing about him, except a name; which I cannot remember anymore. I had to look above each crib until I found the one with his name, description, and grainy photograph. As I put him down and pulled the blanket up, it began to hit me – I wasn’t supposed to be tucking him in. This was what his parents were supposed to be doing. Whether they weren’t there because they couldn’t be, or didn’t want to be, didn’t really matter at that point. What mattered is that if I didn’t pick him up, hold him, and tell him goodnight, then he would be entering another night alone and without comfort. He didn’t cry the whole time. He knew his loneliness all too well and it was weighing heavy on me. Each time I tucked in his mosquito net, another wave would hit me and I would pick him back up again. I even remember telling him how sorry I was that it had to be that way. Who knows what happened to that little guy. He didn’t know it then and never will, but God changed my heart through him, and I have not been the same since.

Emily: On a trip to celebrate our first anniversary, I said to Jim, “Let’s quit our jobs and move to Uganda.” I was partially joking, but 8 months later we actually moved to Uganda. We would be spending the year working with our church and praying that our first adoption would work out during our time living there.

Just one month into our trip, the orphanage that we were on the waitlist for told us that it was going to be quite a while before we were matched with a child. We were heartbroken. I was frustrated and didn’t understand why God brought us to Uganda only to close the door to adoption. The same day that we met with the orphanage director and received the hard news about our adoption, our pastor asked us to go visit a woman in the hospital who had given birth to a baby girl and wasn’t doing well. It was the same hospital that I had worked at in 2010.

We went that evening, and walked into the ICU to visit. I will never forget that evening. I knew immediately after walking into the hospital room that this woman was not going to make it. Her little baby girl was there, just days old. The woman passed away that night, and the next day we traveled 5 hours to lay this woman to rest. At the funeral, friends and family were passing around the baby and Jim and I got an opportunity to hold her. She was tiny but so incredibly beautiful. We asked what was going to happen to her and the responses were very unsure. Out of nowhere Jim said, “we will take her and care for her.” To be honest, I looked at him mildly terrified. I had no clue what he had just done. The extended family met, and agreed to let us care for the little girl. On Monday, September 16, 2013, Evelyn Grace was placed in our arms.

It was the most joyful yet heartbreaking moment of our lives. We knew that becoming her parents was a result of her greatest loss.

The next couple of months were a blur of no sleep and diaper changes, and soon we heard there was an older half brother to Evelyn. We inquired about his care and whether or not we would be able to care for him as well. Through a series of miracles, we found out that the little boy that we thought was her half brother was her full biological brother. In February of 2014 we gained custody of our little six-year-old Aven James.

Again, we adjusted to being a family of four. It was comical, messy and crazy. We loved it.

We waited on our court date to officially make Aven and Evelyn our son and daughter and by May we still didn’t know when we would be going to court. We decided that Jim would go home to the U.S. and work while I finished up the adoption in Uganda. Shortly after he left we got our court date! In June of 2014 I would stand before a judge with Aven and Evelyn and we would officially become a family. It was in that courtroom that I learned that our kids had another brother- a nine year old. My brain was racing in that courtroom for so many reasons, and after court we talked to the family and asked to meet their brother. While we waited for passports, medicals, and visas Aven and Evelyn’s brother came to live with us. He stayed with us through July and August until we we had to travel back home to the U.S. I promised him that we would return, and that we would fight for him.

In September of  2014 I returned home with Aven and Evelyn. Their brother was never far from our minds. Soon we began the homestudy for his adoption, and I began a job at a local high school as a school nurse. During this time we also began mentoring a young boy named Brian. In April of 2015 I traveled back to Uganda to complete our paperwork and spend time with our son, Jensen Jude. He was kind, patient, and I missed him so incredibly much when I had to leave. The summer passed, and in August, Brian’s social worker called to ask if Brian could move in with us full time. One year to the day when we brought home Evelyn and Aven, Brian came home to us. In September of 2015, I traveled to Uganda again to gain custody of our son, Jensen. In November of 2015 Jensen and I returned home.

Life was chaotic. We began adjusting to being a family of six and it wasn’t always pretty. There was so much grace.

Jim and I haven’t felt like we are “done” adopting. We don’t really believe that you can just decide to be done. Rather, we believe that it isn’t up to us. If it was, our plan starting out was to just adopt one child, and quite frankly we are thankful our plans didn’t work out how we originally thought they would. Which finally leads us to where we are now – In May of 2016, I read the report of a little boy with special needs waiting in Africa.

Honestly, I didn’t feel in that moment that I could be looking into the eyes of our son. I felt in my heart that I should try to advocate for him. After talking to a few families who had expressed interest in adopting children with special needs, no one felt that this little boy was their son. Just a few weeks later, I received a second report. This time, my reaction was different. My heart felt different reading it. It was heartbreaking. I suddenly felt that I was not just reading the report of a child waiting for a family, I felt like I was reading the report of our son. I showed it to Jim and we talked to the kids and they were quiet and somber as they learned his story. As a family, we decided that this little boy could and should be our son and brother to his four siblings. We immediately began the paper chase for his adoption. We scrambled and prayed and got our documents together in record time and are now waiting for court. Our son has some special needs that make him extra special in our hearts and we are so excited to bring our little boy home.

Jim: Our community has rallied behind us every step of the way. Their selfless giving of time, money, prayer, and support have allowed us to continue as quickly as we have been able to with the different adoptions. We are by no means financially wealthy, and without the support of our church body, it just would not have happened in such a timely way. They welcome each of our kids with open arms every single Sunday, and there for us each day in between. Emily and I are constantly amazed by the heart of those who have been following along with our story.

The situation for this adoption is not perfect, and the timing could be better, but to be honest, the timing for an adoption is never perfect. Our little boy needs a family, and he can’t afford to wait much longer. We have the means and determination to take this on. Some people have told us that we can’t “save them all.” In our humble opinion however, we aren’t trying to save them all, but that is not an adequate reason to not try and help some.

Please join in the next part of our story, when we bring home our son.