Dustin: When I was five years old I was diagnosed with Ewing Sarcoma, a very rare cancer. When you are a young cowboy and you’re told that you can’t wear cowboy boots for three months after surgery, it’s traumatic.
It is truly by God’s grace that I am a live today and have been cured for 25 years.
The first time that I ever really remember thinking about adoption was on a mission trip to Peru when I was 16. We did some mission work at a local church that helped with an orphanage, and seeing some of the children there and having a chance to take some time and invest in their lives really began the process of opening my heart to adoption.
Lindsey: Dustin would be the second youngest person in the world to ever be diagnosed with Ewing Sarcoma. Dustin’s cancer was found in his chest cavity and in some the bones of his rib cage; he went through 3 years of treatment at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, and needing a more extreme way to rid his body of the cancer, they operated on him. That day he would lose two and a half ribs on his right side and various muscle tissues. After the surgery they performed a few tests to see if the cancer had been eradicated from his body.
It was just before Christmas and the doctor told Dustin’s parents to go home and give him the best Christmas they could. They did not get all the cancer and they gave him a less than 1% chance of survival. Dustin parents did just that – they took him home and had the best Christmas, and the small joy of being permitted off the hospital grounds for Christmas while he was so sick. Dustin was put through the “Make A Wish” foundation program and fulfilled his 8-year-old dream of flying to California and meeting his cowboy hero, Roy Rodgers and his horse. After the holiday was over they reported back to the hospital for additional treatment to help in any way they could. The doctor came in and told Dustin’s parents they could not believe it, but the cancer was gone, by the grace of God. Dustin left with no chance to survive and returned to the hospital rid of the illness that was stealing his life away.
I had the opportunity to go back and visit St. Jude Hospital with Dustin right before we got married for a survivor’s checkup. The doctors that knew his story told it like a legend, and it blew me away how many people knew about him. He would come in the room and the doctors would say, “you aren’t going to believe this one” to the other doctors in the room as they started to tell his story. Dustin was such a big St. Jude survivor story that he became the “poster boy” of sorts – he was featured on billboards in Memphis, in the St. Jude survivor calendar, and during radio-athons for St. Jude he would tell his story. Dustin suffered from sensitivity to many medications during this time and he could not take pain and sedation medication so the doctors were forced to give him what they called a cocktail of medication that would make him forget what he was feeling – a memory killer to hide the pain he would feel. Dustin has no memories before the time he was about 10 years old. He often looks at photos of that time and says that he hears the stories and believes he has envisioned what is was like through the stories his parents and older sister tell of that time.
I will never forget the day I found out that we would never have our own children. When Dustin and I were dating I knew when I married him there was a chance we would not be able to have our own children, but the doctor was very encouraging and upbeat, telling us it was a 60/40 chance. We decided to confirm what the chances were so we did not have to wonder; it was about a week or two after the test that I got the phone call.
I answered my phone while shopping for a baby shower gift for a friend. I had no warning of what kind of news was coming, just a voice telling me there would be absolutely no chance of us having our own child. The nurse on the other end of the phone held zero compassion and spoke very quickly. I had to ask her to repeat what she had just shared. I looked around with the phone in my hands standing in the middle of Babies R Us and I could not get out of that building fast enough, surrounded by tiny clothes and little toys.
We had no chance of having a child that I wasn’t even ready to have and hadn’t even thought about yet (we had only been married about a year). I was hit with the mourning of a loss before we ever even tried to conceive. It was strange to feel sad for something that I knew I would miss more as time went on, and it took a lot to get us to really talk about how this impacted us as a couple. It’s been a growing experience in our marriage, full of hard times and triumphs and seeing what God can do if we remain faithful.
Dustin: Lindsey and I met in high school at our church youth group. She was the younger sister of my friends’ girlfriend. She was beautiful, and sweet, and for my birthday she gave me a Pinky and the Brain video, which was the fastest way to my heart. We soon went on our first date after being set up by my cousin, and have been together ever since. Lindsey and I were married in December of 2006.
For me, my heart started to really open wider to adoption about two years ago when we moved to our new house. God had done some amazing work in our lives and his hand was so evident in every step of our move that it just had the feeling that this was where God wanted us to be and where our family would begin. Lindsey and I have known since the first year of our marriage that we would not be able to have children. With my cancer treatments as a child, we knew that infertility was a possibility, but the news did come as a shock. We were not ready to have kids at the time, so it was confusing to be grieving for a loss that we were not ready for. It made going through the grief process very hard and instead of confronting it early it was something we avoided for a long time.
Lindsey: I have known we would adopt always! But it’s so different to “decide” to start, when you’re having a baby it’s a gamble and even if you try there is an element of surprise. With adoption I think we both struggled with not wanting to feel like, “oh, I’m ready let’s go to the store and pick up a family.” I felt the pull to start the adoption process about 2 years ago, I was 28 and really starting to feel it was time to invest in family and get started. When you’re ready to have a family and you’re adopting, the time it takes to get the process going is exhausting and long but worth it when we can make our family complete.
I worked alongside a woman at my past job for 11 years who is a birth mother. I remember when she told me she had chosen adoption for her son, I was shocked. She is beautiful, hardworking, and seemed to have her whole life in order with a big supportive family around her and I could not imagine a time she would be in a place to choose adoption. This has impacted me the most after choosing adoption – I had a vision of who our birth mother could be as someone very different from my friend, and this taught me very early on to not judge a birth mother because you never know who could be in a hard place in life at some point.
Our church group has about 6 families and 4 of these couples have discovered they could not have children. We have had the chance to walk through their journeys in adoption and see them become parents and have a great support system in them – these families are our biggest cheerleaders. Our best-married friends have just given birth in March to a child after conceiving through embryo adoption since like us, the husband was unable to have children, and their path took them down a road where she carried the adoptive child.
To us, adoption means hope and opportunity. I desire a child and somewhere out there is a child who needs me too, just like I need them. I am so excited to experience being a parent and have the opportunity to see my husband become a father.
Dustin: I think for me I view adoption as a path that God has laid out for Lindsey and I. It isn’t the easiest path or the one we necessarily grew up imagining but I can see God’s hand of blessing all throughout our lives, preparing us for this journey. It requires faith and trust in Him but I know that in the end It will be beautiful.
You can join Dustin and Lindsey’s amazing story by giving today – just click “give to this story” – Thanks for being here!
Married
2006
We have
3 dogs and 2 cats
We also have
6 chickens!
Lindsey
I work for an insurance company and work as a claims liaison often working alongside restaurants when they need my assistance. I feel connected to my work due to me extensive past restaurant experience. I spent the last 11 years working in and managing a local bakery, and this enabled me to learn, and grow many skills in the kitchen. I love to decorate cakes, bake, and cooking anything in the kitchen is very dear to my heart! Aside from the kitchen I enjoy being outside in our garden or by the lake when we are able, and walking to see family that lives close by. I am a fun, outgoing, enthusiastic personality who loves a good challenge. I am honored to be married to my wonderful husband and cannot wait to share the next stage of life with him as we grow our family!
Dustin
I work for a company that provides medical products and services to veterinary clinics all over the state of Tennessee. It’s easy to see how much I love animals when you count how many pets Lindsey and I have: 3 dogs, 2 cats, and 6 chickens! I enjoy being able to help and be in relationships with others who love animals as much as I do. I am creative, a deep thinker, and love a good audio book when I am driving. I enjoy taking photos, working with my hands in our garden or with a new furniture project, and I love being outside camping or spending time on our front porch. I volunteer each week at our home church and feel it has brought a deeper sense of connection with my church community and has enabled me to meet so many more church members than I have before. I am blessed to be a cancer survivor and thrilled to tell my story of God’s grace and never-ending love, from the time I was diagnosed to when Lindsey and I discovered we were unable to have children. God has been faithful to us and it will be my great pleasure to include the blessing of a child to our story when the time comes and we have been matched in our adoption journey!
Family Names Tie Us Together
What’s her name? This is the question I have been asked more than any other, what’s her middle name? What’s her full name? Is that a nickname? And so on.
Her full name is Katheryn Virginia Nicole Benson aka “Ginger”
Katheryn for my Grandmother Katheryn Elliott, my Mothers Mother. Virginia for my Grandmother Virginia (Ginger) Crowder, My Fathers Mother. Nicole for her Birthmothers middle name. I never knew my daughter would have two middle names but we had carefully chosen her name to anchor her to our family with as much affirmation we could to let her know she is chosen and belongs in our family. When we met our sweet birth mother we wanted to honor her as well, Nicole is what her Birthmother would have named her if she had been able to parent her, this will always be a piece of her. Ginger is beautiful and sweet, Dustin Benson and I are so blessed.
Lindsey, Dustin & Ginger Benson
Oh Baby, June Has Been Busy!
The month of June has flown by since being match on the second. Little did we know that 8 days later we would get a phone call saying our birthmother’s water had broken! Last Saturday was nuts, we got the call that our baby could be on the way so Dustin and I rushed home packed like mad and hit the road. After driving the wrong direction on the wrong interstate for half an hour we knew this was going to be a looong drive to Florida…
Dustin and I rolled into town on two wheels thinking we had missed the birth of our little girl! After making it to the hospital we were told that her water was only part broken and we had some time. Little did we know this was a blessing as we were able to spend time with our sweet birthmother and share stories, cry, and get to know this selfless woman even more.
After a few days of tests and some good steroids our little girl was born on June 13th at 10:59am weighing 5lbs 18″ long. She has already captured our hearts and this is the best Fathers Day we could ask for.
We are over the moon after meeting her and we cannot wait to bring her home, for now she is snuggled next to us in the NICU room until she gets a little bit bigger. Coming 5 weeks early she is heathy,but she may need the jaundice light in the next day or two, and they will need to make sure she gains weight and eats as much as she needs to keep fattening her up.
We have been praising God every day for our beautiful daughter and are amazed at the journey that lead us to her. God does amazing work, we have said from the beginning that adoption was Gods perfect path for us and that he had planned this journey for us from the beginning, but we are still in awe of his work, his timing and the beautiful journey that lead us to this time. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers please be praying for us to be able to leave the hospital soon, and for our little girl to be healthy during this transition.
Meet Baby Ginger!
All In God’s Timing
All in Gods timing, its not an easy concept when your not getting what you want in that moment…
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer Romans 12:12
I know there is and always has been a plan for my family I just did not know the time or path years ago. The photos in this post are a tee shirt I bought many years ago when our dear friends were working diligently to adopt a sweet child. I bought this shirt that says 147 Million Orphans, it supported my friends and I thought this would be a great memento one day for my future adopted child.
I had a hard time some days opening my top drawer to get out an article of clothing and seeing it stored there just staring at me… I eventually turned the shirt inside out so the words would not catch my eye and I pushed it to the very back of my drawer because I didn’t want to feel sad like I was missing something. It would take me at least 4 or 5 years to understand that this was not sadness it was grieving for my child I would not have and wanting for the child I did not have yet. I did not know it would have been healthy for me to confront my feelings in those moments, I have grown a lot since those days and matured in the knowledge that sometimes I need support and love and help. If you know me you know this does not come easily for me I try to be strong and want to be the one helping you not the other way around!
We grow, we learn, and we more towards Gods plan for our lives.
I was glad to open my drawer today and pull this memory out and stare it down with a large grin on my face. I know it will be a few year until she is big enough to wear this but I can wait a little longer because
My little girl is on the way.
–Lindsey
We’re Matched!
June 2nd will be a day I never forget. “Congratulations, you have a baby girl!” Said the voice on the phone, I was flooded with joy and excitement, I cried and tried to write down some of the information, but all I could think was it’s REAL.
Dustin and I have been so careful about not getting to excited during the maybe moments, when your adopting you often give a profile book to people who may not choose you. We could not live everyday as if we would be chosen, if we had there would be many days of sadness. We have guarded out hearts little by little, putting things in our “nursery to be” but never made it into a finished space, decorated, arranged or planned anything just a room collecting items one by one for someday.
Friday June 2nd that all changed.
Friday was a blur, we got the call early afternoon that we had been chosen. After tearful phone calls I ran over to the bank trying to make all the arrangements before they closed for the day. We had been approved for a loan in case just such an occasion ever came up but closing a loan on a Friday afternoon was eventful! Dustin made it to the bank just a short time before closing and then we were off home to tell our parents what had happened today… It wasn’t until 10pm in Wendy’s parking lot after leaving my in-laws that we realized just how hungry and emotional exhausted we were from the day. Friday was a great day.
I feel like we have just taken our first deep breath in over a year. We are so excited to begin the preparing, planning, painting, and much more for our little girl to come home. The most exciting part is she is due in JULY! We will be very busy for the next month and i appreciate any thoughts and prayers you can send our way as we walk this journey.
All I need to say about the weekend is my Mother and I went shopping.
I am elated to share this journey with all our friends and family who have been such a great support system during this season. Thank you for all your support and love, we look forward to keeping you all in the loop over the next 6 weeks as we run wild and get things in order!
Lindsey & Dustin Benson